How To Develop Into The Type Of Person You Really Desire – Your Very Own Tyler Durden
In the 1999 film Fight Club¸ the brilliant actor Edward Norton plays a fantastic role as a disillusioned character who is confused with his life.
While he considers his life pretty much pointless, he tries to satisfy this empty void with materialistic products and catalogue purchases, hoping he will find meaning. However, on his quest for salvation, he discovers Tyler Durden, who represents everything he is not.
Your own life has quests, times when you feel lost and maybe even times when you wish you were stronger, so why not create your own Tyler Durden, someone you can learn from, be more like, and help you develop into the type of person you really desire.
Let’s do this as an exercise. Grab a notebook.
Before we continue this exercise, let me tell you a small technique that I have done for quite some time. When I am faced with difficult challenges when the tough gets tough or feel my motivation and desires are taking a brutal beating, I reach out to my alter ego, my Tyler Durden.
I call upon the strengths they have that I may have lost from my momentary paralysis. Now I have a whole arsenal of experts (in my head).
I have people like Richard Branson, Simon Cowell, Peter Jones and oddly David Hasselhoff (I have no idea why he is there, but somehow he makes sense), plus other successful business owners, friends, financial advisors, accountants; you get the picture.
Build a massive powerbase of skilled people whom you can call upon at any given moment.
Now the great thing about this process is you don’t actually ever have to speak with these people; you use all the attributes that you consider as strengths that you would like as your own (It’s like Peter Petrelli from Heroes when he discovers he can gain the powers of all the other heroes).
For example, you are looking for strength; you go to the person you adore for their character strength, if its strategy the same applies, wit or humour, business decisions, etc.
Once you have created a list of your powerbase, the people who possess the powers you require, you go about creating the ultimate Tyler Durden, even give them a name if you like.
Now set out some common questions, such as:
- How do people respond when they are seen?
- Do they attend any social gatherings?
- Are they the centre of attention?
- Do they sit back and observe?
- How do they dress?
- What car do they own?
- Where do they live?
- How much do they earn?
What you’re looking to create here is a god-like figure who owns every skill set you will ever need to make the person you are longing to become.
Think about everyone you know who has some fantastic gift or ability you desire and add them into your Tyler Durden creation.
The wonderful thing about this exercise is that you are creating an image of your future self and how you want to be. You’re sending that metal image of this god-like figure, your Tyler Durden, the future YOU, to your subconscious mind, which can be materialised into the physical form.
They’re strong, powerful, rich, flattering and simply unique, everything you want to be, and if this is the type of person you spend your time with, the chances are this is the type of person you will slowly become.
So if they look in the eye of fear, don’t you hide from confrontation. Challenge it!
Think about this for a moment, very rarely do you find the rich people hanging around with the poor people, you don’t often see successful film actors hanging around with un-successful film actors, you don’t see really positive people hanging around with the really negative people.
You need to surround yourself with the wealth, strength and abilities you wish to acquire, and by creating your own Tyler Durden, you are doing just that.
This is a fun exercise to do, get creative, really find the skills you would like to own and have fun while doing it.
The results will be mesmerising!
If you need a hand with this process or want to find out more about my coaching programs, book a free discovery call here.
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